When life gives you bitter lemons, ( ) ?
What your answer would be?
There’s this lemony moment when you start doubt yourself. Your ability, your decision making, your judge of character, what you like and what you don’t, basically about who YOU are.
Before all that, you were doing great. You had doubts and questions for sure but you got over it. You went on an awesome expedition, the whole world was cheering for you, you wrote about it and even made some money out of it. It’s not conventional but you love the lifestyle. You are like a quarter-celebrity in this community. It’s scary and you have to be frugal but you think it’s worth it and it is. You laugh, you eat good, you think hard, you concentrate, you are confident, and most of all you are happy.
And BAM. Someone in your life casually drop the bomb right in front of you.
“You are not special.”
…
What does this even mean?
It means, you are not special enough to do unconventional thing. You are not good enough to take the free-lifestyle because you are not special and you are nothing but a normal human being in any other people in your society. The people who think living in a cubic farm is the best life even though they know that sucks.
It means they would rather have you as an ignorant stay-home family member than a super smart and independent traveler.
It means, they believe you are going to fail. They are screaming ‘you don’t got it’.
Ookay.
Then what?
First, you are devastated.
It’s not easy thing to hear from anybody and you just heard it from someone in your life who suppose to support you no matter what. It’s absurd but they got mad at who you are. They were angry because you know a lot and you’ve seen a lot. So you are crushed. You maybe cry a little, wander around the street, call your friend and talk about how ridiculous this is and cry some more.
Then, you question yourself.
‘Am I really?’ You slowly start to agree with them that maybe you really are not special. You are not smart enough to survive in this world without the cubic farm. You question your purpose, your priority, your passion and what’s right and wrong in your life. And, you get crushed again because everything is in denial at this moment.
After the terrifying time, you get angry.
Because you just realized, or re-found that you are really a special person. You hate that they made you doubt yourself and the fact how awesome you are. You worked hard, have done tremendous things, you have goals in your life, you are passionate, your vision is clear, you have a lot of potential in your life and you pursuit happiness. And you think ‘what’s wrong with that?’
And you try to calm down.
Because angry and furious person is not the one you want to be. You make some tea, sit down and think. You may loose some sleep. You are tired but you are trying to think. You rewind the whole situation, and analyse what went wrong. You want to figure out why. You are more rational than ever. You are on the edge of the fact. And questioning Why, not about yourself this time, about the circumstances.
Now, finally, you listen to your soul.
Sit quietly, clear your head, be focused, and listen to your soul. It’s hard to listen to your soul in everyday life because we are not focused. But now, you are all ears. What’s your soul telling you? What do YOU really want? At this point, this is what matters the most. Not what others think, no matter what is the ‘normal’ way of living, not about their baggage, not about their soul, it’s about You. What do you want? What have you been thinking? What does your soul say?
I think about Occam’s Razor; The simplest is most likely the answer, he said.
What could be the simplest explanation?
What did your soul say?
There’s no time for negativity, life is short babe time is flyin’.
I think everything works differently to everyone and should not be judged about the differences.
I think pursuit of happiness is the basest human desire and right.
‘Do what you want’ does not equal to ‘you are being selfish’.
Everything is so damn complicated but at the end of the day, it is your life.
There, that’s your the simplest explanation. It’s your life.
They shove you and you taste what you are made of. Now, wipe your hand, shake it off and stand.
It is your life.
My razor came when I spent all night at 24hrs cafe after the most encouraging conversation ever including listened to how am I not special and how awful person I am over and over again. I was headed to the subway station in 7am instead of going in to the office. In the wave of suits and high-heels, I was the only one was breaking through the opposite direction, wearing a green and yellow hiking jacket with a backpack. And I thought ‘You suited dudes, I really feel sorry for you.’ because everyone looked so miserable. And I’ve decided I had enough. The reality is much more complicated but I choose the simplest explanation.
At this very moment, my theme song was ringing in my head. The one that helped me got through Grad school. Elphaba was singing “Everyone deserves a change to fly. Even if I’m flying solo, at least I’m flying free.”
I know I’m awesome. I know I’m special. I know I’m smart. And I know you are too. Believe your potential. Don’t ever, ever question that.
Remember. YOU matters. It is your life.
When life gives you lemons,
cut them with Occam’s razor.
If you enjoyed this post, you’ll like this one too. –> It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you anymore.
Wow, it’s true babe.. the only bad news you will hear is fm -ve ppl around you.. so flee! Run away and surround yourself with positive ppl with the same mindset. that way you won’t just fly.. you will SOAR! 😀 proud of u gal;)
Surround myself with positive people.. yes that’s what exactly what I want to, and what I’m going to do. 🙂 I will SOAR!!!!
Hun, I had the “you’re not special” bomb dropped too, and it sucks and it hurts like hell.
But this is teaching you that not every person you meet on your way will like you or support you, but you have to go on and do what you think is right because this is your life!
It sucks when it’s your parents to say so, but at the same time it’s the biggest push you could ever get to show everyone how worthy you are and… how wrong they are!
Always keep your head high and don’t forget who you are. You are not living the life you chose for someone else, you are doing it for you!
Yes it hurts. And I frankly don’t understand why people say things like that to others. There’s absolutely no reason for that.
I think you are right though. It’s the biggest push and motivation to move forward. Get over the scariness and just push forward.
Glad I didn’t stay in crushed shape.
Yo go girl! 😉 Like your positive spirit. It’s hard sometimes to ignore the negativity, but I’m glad you know that you are special, smart, funny, creative, adventurous and very cool 🙂
Thanks Leslie! It’s hard to keep my head up while I was crushed but barely I could see, that I’m really a special person! I mean, everyone in this world is special, right? And why am I not?
This was such an awesome post. Don’t listen to the haters — bu it looks like I don’t have to tell you that! 🙂
And what would you say.. if the ‘haters’ are your family?
A very uplifting post, Juno. It makes me want to march out there and grab the world by its balls…
Grab it! And whisper.. “I’m special” 🙂
We can never satisfy everybody, least of all those who are jealous of our achievements. So, STOP!, Don’t even try to make them happy about you. Be happy about YOU, be true to yourself. Just do what you think can make other people’s everyday life a bit happier. If some don’t like it, well, TOUGH for them. They don’t have to listen or read what you say. They can put their heads where the sun don’t shine, as I always say. 😉 Keep it up, Juno, We love you!
Yes, I think that’s all about balance. I should consider others, that’s for sure but in a range of fairness. Sometimes people only think about themselves and ask me to break the balance and play the guilty as their play card. That’s not fair. Not at all.
Thanks for loving me Marlys! 🙂 Really, thanks for the sweet comment.
I think you said it all in your post. Listen to your soul and do what’s right for you. The Naysayers may never agree that you are right but hopefully with time they will come to respect your decisions about your life.
I hope so too. One thing I really don’t get about people is that they are so okay with being unhappy. Reason why? Because everyone is unhappy, so I’m okay. I mean, why?
When I ask why, they don’t answer. I don’t really like ‘just because’ answers.
Hopefully, they will pursuit their happiness too.
Ususally when people have something negative or nasty to say about you, it is actually about them. Don’t worry about what others think. You ARE special and just keep being that special you =)
That’s so true Andrea. After you said this, and I thought about it again and that’s true. People can happy for others when they are not happy inside. It’s just human.
I thought I was really a confident human being but I guess I wasn’t enough. But glad to know that I am now!
You are awesome juno, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! Always go in the direction that makes you happiest! yea! ^_^
It’s amazing how quick people are to judge and belittle another persons choices in life. And it probably stems from a deep seated insecurity of their own. Perhaps they hate you a little bit because you are doing what they never could? Or perhaps they are beginning to question whether they could have done more/seen more etc with their life.
It sucks when the people close to us hurt us like this, but the important thing to remember is that it’s more about them than it is about you. If anything, you should feel flattered that your life brings out such reactions in people and sorry that they feel so low they have to take it out on others 🙂
When life gives you lemons you make the best of it 🙂
Regarding other opinions about you, it is important to select who do you listen, who’s opinion really matters to you!
Yes, that is true. So I listened what “I” had to say first. And it’s utterly fascinating! I thought I was listening myself pretty well but apparently not good enough.
When life hands you lemons…find some rosemary and garlic and make a delicious dinner! Don’t let ’em get you down…
Only surround yourself with positive and inspiring people- so true!
Yes, that’s what I’m going to do!! About time!!
I find that usually I’m my own worst enemy. Staying self-confident and positive is key. Nice post. I’m new to this site and will keep following.
Thanks Andrew! When I was in devastated stage, I felt that I was the worst enemy. I’m quite a confident person, so that’s why I couldn’t take that I guess.
Hope all is well with your travels! Enjoy your blog as well.
You have great spirit and this is a very confident post. Well done!
Thanks Charu. I guess I grew up a little 🙂 A little.
Love this post Juno!! Don’t let the bastards get you down.
I’m going through the same thing which you read about the other day.
I wrote another post about it on my mummy blog
http://www.mojitomother.com/2011/06/keep-your-opinions-to-yourself/
You can see it is getting to me as well.
Only you know what is best for you and what your dreams are. Never let anyone get in the way of them. i love how you said listen to your soul. This is the place that speaks the truth and has all the answers.
It’s no one else’s business what you do with your life and I think you are special enough
Again, I loved your post. I feel like to say ‘go to hell’ time to time. It’s really frustrated when people don’t think what ‘I’ think matter more than what they think. It’s not their life, it’s mine. Everyone wants to feel needed but this is way out of boundary. Right?
Thanks for your post and comment Caz!
Thank you for writing this girlie. I’ve had this exact wave of emotions more than my fair share of times but I could never explain it to anyone with this clarity.
*hug*
You’re like a sister to me and know that you DO have family that have your back on decisions.
Thanks Erica, glad you felt the same way about me. There’s just so many judgement going around, about everything. And they project their unhappiness toward to others who are actually happy. That’s unfair.
The power of writing this post in such a bad day, was that I knew there’s my fellow travelers, friends, sisters out there who will support me without any coloured eyes. So, I thank you!
Don’t let the “man” (who ever that may be in your life) get you down! This was a beautiful post and you are a superstar in my book!
Thanks Randy! I think ‘man’ would be super multiple because I’m surrounded by them. It was hard to keep remind myself positive things, but I have all these great friends who helped me remind myself!
What a sweet motivation! I run into everyday difficulties of dealing with temporarily being back home and not traveling. But, I try to think of my expat plans and my experience as a whole and it reminds me that I am truly lucky! Good vibes!!!
Great article. Some people like the suited life and can’t imagine backpacking. Some backpackers, however, can’t imagine living the suited life. Interesting, though, can travel ever be the “new 9-5”?
EXACTLY! Why travel cannot be the new 9-5? Well said my friend! I’d honestly never thought I’d be the suited one but now I’m glad to get out of here.
Juno, forget all that. You know you got something different (in a good way) going on.
Keep the chin up and smile at those who tell you otherwise – ’cause they have no idea what they’re talking about.
Thanks Maria! It was a hard moment, and I believe we all have it, wish we don’t have to, but we do. And the point is, how you got over it. And I think I’m getting over it by traveling the world. 🙂
I think you are right though. that way you won’t just fly.. Like your positive spirit. So, STOP!, Don’t even try to make them happy about you.
Thanks for your words Marissa. Yeah, there’s not enough time to make other people happy…
Is it coincidence that I saw your tweet about this one Juno but I love it! I am in the point of my life where the comment, “you are not special” just slapped me. Last night, I won an award as a trainer and that is an awesome feat, posted thanks on my fb and friends congratulated me however, my boss who happens to be at the awards night last night took the trophy and it’s a signal of the “you are not special” episode because I and my boss is not in good terms and I felt awful when I won an award yet he refuses to give me the one which I deserved.
Chatted with a friend early this morning and consoled me that I am in recognized anyway, so sans the trophy, I won. I said yes but that had me think deeply this morning then I read this post. It gives me the kind of perspective I want to live for my life and no matter how other people steal some from me (like the trophy), I will be who i am, the way I live it to be,in the best way I can be happy.
One day, il be like you counter-walking dudes on suits and finally set foot on an adventure of a lifetime. I may be a nobody travel blogger but that does not bother me for I live my life the way I believed is best.
Thanks for this post, Juno. It lightens up my life!
I don’t even know you, Juno, but you inspire me so much. You are special and you are more than good enough. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
*love from Norway*
Thanks for your kind words. I’m honor to hear that I inspired you in a way. It’s an important process, to give ourselves some credit for all we’ve done, and what we are capable of. Good luck with your endeavors as well!
I just wanted to say a HUGE THANK YOU!!!!
I just had a whole few months of changes and people who I love tell me the same thing over and over – and I REALLY needed to read this. Perfect timing – the Universe/You-In-Verse works in beautiful ways!
I just found your blog today and will forever be a fan, great work :o)
Thanks Tera. Glad to hear that you got some comfort while reading this piece. It’s been two years for me, and a lot has been changed. I honestly thought nothing would change, no one would come around, but it did, and they did. If it is really true to your heart, right circumstances will follow. Kudos!