Precisely this time last year, I was badly longing for certainties. Funny, I escaped from tightly packed certainty and the possibility of having a secure job for next 40 years that was choking me for two years, but yet again, I wanted it. It is just a matter of dosage, I presume. Ever since I announced my āBucket Livingā lifestyle, I was constantly balancing the scale of enjoying life and scared of the uncertainties. For my entire life, I never not know my future, at least about the big ones. I knew what I wanted to choose science over literature in high school (Korean high schools are usually divided by two groups: science and literature), I knew I was going to get the Masterās Degree, and I knew I was going to work at the engineering company for many more years. But when I changed my lifeās direction, the vision of my future became murky. Some say thatās the joy of living, not knowing things, but frankly, that frightened me.
Making career as a travel blogger (and a freelance writer & photographer) wasnāt as easy as I thought. Just like learning wine, there were more things to learn when I got to know more, and it made me realized how much I didnāt know as I learned. I knew this would be the cost of following my passion into the bush of unknown, but it doesnāt meant that it is any easier because I suspected it before. Knowing and feeling are different. Because of the uncertainties at both career and relationship, my last year was like riding a rocking life boat. I enjoyed the beauty of the world Iāve never seen before, taking opportunities as it came along, but suffered by the uncertainties of the further future at the same time.
Many months later…
Last week when I finished booking my flight ticket, it hit me; I have plans until the end of the year. It was only May, but I knew exactly what Iāll do until December. āItās newā I thought. While I was juggling between planning future projects, and day to day travels in Sri Lanka, I havenāt realized that it happened. I do have a plan until this winter, crossing continents for traveling and visiting families.
I was never good at living Ā just day-to-day. Iām more driven by big projects, plans, and inspirations. I’m fast-pased, and impatience in certain things. Seize the day doesnāt mean much to me if I donāt have a goal in near future. Thatās who I am. For about two years of calibration, I finally found the magic combination. I guess I was afraid of being more proactive.
Chance of failure? Fear of left alone? Limiting the chance of going separate ways? Maybe. Failure is a strong word.
Iām planning a big project, that I want to open in November. Naturally, I needed to figure out my plans for the project. I have a couple plans to visit family in the mean time. Tour Asia is still ongoing. There are many things are happening right now, and Iām comfortably figuring them out.
The pleasure of planning things out; I finallyĀ conquerĀ it for the first time after I quit my previous job. Of course, I still have a long way to go. Have plan for next seven months is just a start. I wanted to create my future with my own passion, and here I am, doing exactly what I wanted to do.
When I was afraid of uncertainties, I found this quote through my good friend.
When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life.
– Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth
Iām on my way to be comfortable at uncertainty, but also I want to make a good balance of taking chances and planning my future. It will be interesting to see how it goes.
The pleasure of planning things out, do you enjoy it too?
I am a huge planner. My Google calendar is always completely filled with life events. I have been planning the details of my upcoming Euro Trip (as I usually do as far as where I am going to sleep and getting from city to city, and also suggestions of places of interest in a city), but for some reason my 5 city month long trip has turned into a headache. My usual planning self wants to take a planning break lol.
Great article š
I am a hard-core planner. I don’t like uncertainty. Of course, I also have to juggle my work schedule with my travel schedule with my blogging schedule…the more you have to juggle, the more you need to plan to fit it all in. The great thing about having the rest of your year planned out is having things to look forward to. I find anticipation is half the fun of travel.
You are so right, the anticipation is a big upside of planning. Right now I’m really looking forward to experience winter of the east coast again. It was much easier (in some way) to plan my travels when I was working at the office. It was crystal clear when I could have a time off.
i used to plan but slowly lerning to so less
Stephanie does most of my planning these days lol.
I have to keep a calendar and use TripIt now to keep myself organized on when I travel because it’s been so crazy lately. It’s much easier to manage now.
Same here: Stephen manages schedule (he’s much better at planning than me). I’m still using my oldschool notepad to manage my schedule š
What a fitting quote by Eckhart Tolle! I think it’s really good to have something to look forward to, so I find that I enjoy planning big ideas, but tend to leave the details loose – gotta’ have a bit of freedom in there! As with anything, I think you’re right: balance is the key!
Happiness can exist only in this very moment, here and now. We sacrifice our happiness by planning for the future or longing for the past. Our best plan is: no plans.
I usually plan everything in life, but when I left my civil service job in the UK to go volunteering in Cambodia I stopped doing it. I take things on 6-months steps at the time at the moment. While it keeps things exciting, sometimes, I wish I knew what I was doing in 6 months time. I still have to learn to live more spontaneously I think.
Great post!
I’m personally not a planner at all. When I’ve fully planned a project I feel as if it’s already happened and there’s no point in following with it until fruition. I’m bored of it before it ever takes form. I like to have an idea, a style, a direction, and take it one step at a time after that.
It’s really fun and interesting to see the different travel styles.
My boyfriend and I just launched our travel blog and it’s funny what you mention about always having more to learn. It’s for sure starting to look like we’ll be doing a lot of learning over the next few years. Good thing we’re into learning.
I love the Eckhart Tolle quote!!
Good luck finding your balance!
Nice post.
As they say: Fail to prepare, prepare to fail. (Yes it’s a big word as you said š )
You can sleep a little better if you’ve planned that bit more š
R