I have a group of friends (around the world) who are willingly put up with me, when I think my life is falling apart. They’ve been on the path I’m at, gone through the pain I’m feeling, if not, they try to understand because they care about me. I’m mostly whining with complaints, (sometimes) with so many different kind of fluid comes out from my face, but they still call me a friend. It’s one of my few fortunes that I got to meet these intelligent, generous, and caring people in different phase of my life. They’ve seen me in the bottom of the pit, up high with super confidence, and when jumping up and down to figure out my life.
I call for help, mostly because I need someone to talk to. Ranting, mostly. They listen, and give me advices from the heart. Funny thing is, that I don’t necessarily believe them at the moment. Human mind works strangely, and stupidly, most of times, especially if you are in pain. Everyone has a potential to be a drama queen (in my opinion), and I certainly do. When my world is crumbling down like a breadcrumb, all I can see is a dark tunnel without any exit. Sort of like the Mystery Department from the 5th book of Harry Potter series. I see the doorknob, but can’t open it.
When I’m having the darkest moment, I’d hear:
“It will pass, I promise.”
But I think, ‘really?’ I can’t seem to think that this amount of pain would go away in anytime soon.
But you know what? They were right. It will pass.
Thank God, people are forgetful by nature. The pain and struggle might exist day to day for a very long time, but the sharp edge gets rounder. It’s possible to function like a normal human being, after the wallowing period with continuous starving, stuffing yourself with fast food, staying up, crying, and marathonning TV series you already watched. What, you don’t do these? Please. Be honest here.
You can only get out of the pit after hit the bottom. You need to fail to success: it is another giant cliché, but it is proven right from my personal experience. Everyone needs a good cry, wallowing, and some junk food. It is like a free falling. It’s impossible to bounce back if you are falling from the sky. Once you hit the ground (not literally), finally your body simultaneously exerts a force equal in magnitude and opposite in direction to that free fall. Science.
It’s okay to fail. It’s okay to stuff yourself with junk food that you try hard to avoid. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel lonely. It’s okay to feel like you are never going to be happy.
But it’s not okay to let it define you.
Try hard to think about all the great things happened in your life, no matter how that feels foreign to you in the situation. The great people you have, the goals you’ve achieved in the past, amazing places you’ve been, and happy moments you had; those are important foundation to get out of the pit.
It’s hard, I know. Seven hours of night seems like forever, doesn’t it? But trust me, it doesn’t. The Sun will come up eventually. I’ve been there. I’m still there.
For those of you who are going through ‘something’ and thinking that you will never be happy again; I will give you the best advice I’ve got many times from my good friends.
It will pass, I promise.
5 thoughts on “The Cliché Advice I Never Believe”
My little grasshopper, I have 2 thoughts.
You need to see Pippin! It’s a story of a young man who searches for his meaning in life and where he belongs. At the end, he realizes he needed to look within, because the person he is…is already within him, he just needed to realize that!
And secondly, like Liz in Eat, Pray, Love and her search for God. Once she becomes one with God, she realizes, the unspoken message – “You may return here once you have fully come to understand that you are always here.”
That being said, the happiness is within. Love yourself and then you can love and appreciate others!
That is my mantra when I’m going through something awful: This too shall pass! It really is the truth!!!
There is a saying in Germany that says ‘time will heal all wounds’. It is so true!
I’ve been going through a lot of this lately, Juno – crying and thinking I’ll never be happy. But I’m getting through it, and I know things will get better. Night time is getting much, much easier now that I’ve taken the time to figure out what I want.
Everyone struggles with these things but some are more willing to admit it and face it head on while others try to hide their pain from themselves. I try to notice the small beautiful simple things in a day, the sun coming over a mountain etc…it helps making that ‘sharp edge rounder’. Hang in there 🙂