It Doesn’t Mean that I Don’t Love You Anymore

Wanderlust, itchy feet, travel bug, vagabond syndrome, digital nomad… there are many names to call people like me, like us. If you are determining to follow your calling, there’s this moment we all have to pass. The talk with the family.

Guessing many of you are in different position as I am because where I grew up doesn’t really have a concept of travel nor backpacking. Furthermore I’m a girl in a very conservative society so… When I was a freshman at university I mentioned to my brother that ‘My one life long dream is travel the world, literally’ and guess what he said? He said ‘I’m going to break your leg if you do, literally’. Okay so you can feel a little bit the vibe here. I grow up in the country that ‘I’m a grown up now!’ doesn’t work.

During many years of traveling, my family is sort of giving up on me but still has this belief that I’m going to settle in short future. Clearly I’m not going to do that anytime soon. I thought about this subject for a while now. Am I a horrible person to do this to my family? Constantly thinking about be in different places, planning to runaway for New Year’s holiday, and reading guidebooks about next destination even before unpack my backpack.

Adrenaline rush

Let me say it this way. In New Year’s holiday or Christmas, do you visit your parents? Do you spend the whole holiday with them? And… are you having fun? It’s quite a long holiday, so you might want to take a trip to a gorgeous beach in Thailand or just relax at home without any duty. Is it wrong to think such things? I guess we all had this moment at some point.

So yes, that’s what I want to say to my loved ones. Leaving you doesn’t mean that I don’t love you anymore. It’s just one way of knowing me, figuring out who I really am and finding my own home. Honestly, it’s really, really fun too. I can’t be a different person just for others. Don’t get me wrong, I feel sorry in some level. Feel like I should do more but love is a two way street, we should understand each other. Play guilt as a weapon is just wrong.

I am not leaving because of you, it’s because of me. Wow, it sounds like a line from some cheesy romantic movie. “I’m letting you go because I love you.” and “It’s not you, it’s me.” Well, anyhow that is the truth. Sometimes they understand ‘I am traveling the world for a long time’ as ‘I can’t stand you so I have to get out of here and find a new home.’ Let’s not get confused.

Do you have any opinion about the subject? Please share with us.

Once again, me traveling doesn’t mean that I don’t love you anymore, people.

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#Additional thought….  I watch the movie 127 hours this weekend, and my first thought was ‘I would never let my parents to watch this movie.’

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